DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #37
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Podcast #8
Podcast 8
downlowd it here
downlowd it here
I have big news about my podcast and my usual ramblings about everything! enjoy guys!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #36
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
We interrupt this blog….
I know some of you have been wondering where I’ve been, well other then work being crazy I have had a bad gout attack. I was going to do a few things and do a new podcast but I never got around to it. I had a very bad gout attack. And when I start back this week I’m going to make a few changes to the podcast. I’m going to focus more on me, like I haven’t before, LOL meaning I’m going to talk about dating and making friends. I am taking a hiatus from talking about Thomas. He’s one of my friends, one of my best friends but the relationship is over and I have dealt with just about all my issues and think it’s time I move on and let things happen in my life. I may mention him in a story from time to time with other people, like I do with most friends but, no more in depth analysis about the relationship or such. Just feel that ship has sailed. Plus I feel it’s better for me to move on and start dating again and work on my career.
I feel my life is going in a good direction. Other then my inability to keep a budget LOL, its good. Last week I spent all my money, I mean my balance was latterly $0.00. This week it’s less, so I have put my expenses in quicken and will keep track of what I spend and where. I think gas is a major expense right now that I’m not factoring in the budget. But I’ll get it worked out! I know I will.
Also, I had hoped to announce a podcast partner this week but I’m asking him tomorrow and will get his answer this week. I think if it works out It will be a great match. But we shall see. Chris at the Daily Hough, is having a house warming party and I’ll get to meet other podcasters here in ATL so I’m looking forward to it.
Well I will post more this week and do a podcast. I have a few things I want to talk about, and when I’m off the drugs! I wish they were good I’ll do it! I want to do it tonight but it would sound like crap. But have a great one
I feel my life is going in a good direction. Other then my inability to keep a budget LOL, its good. Last week I spent all my money, I mean my balance was latterly $0.00. This week it’s less, so I have put my expenses in quicken and will keep track of what I spend and where. I think gas is a major expense right now that I’m not factoring in the budget. But I’ll get it worked out! I know I will.
Also, I had hoped to announce a podcast partner this week but I’m asking him tomorrow and will get his answer this week. I think if it works out It will be a great match. But we shall see. Chris at the Daily Hough, is having a house warming party and I’ll get to meet other podcasters here in ATL so I’m looking forward to it.
Well I will post more this week and do a podcast. I have a few things I want to talk about, and when I’m off the drugs! I wish they were good I’ll do it! I want to do it tonight but it would sound like crap. But have a great one
Monday, June 05, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #35
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Monday, May 29, 2006
My Oprah "Light Bulb Moment"
Well I had my Oprah light bulb moment. Meaning You have one thing that happens to you and you go “AH I GET IT!” I had that Saturday night. But before I get there I’ll give you a rundown on my weekend. As you know the weekend started with a stand up and getting dissed by who I thought were friends. So I was like I just gotta move on. Not let it get to me. So Saturday comes and I go out with Westcoast to see Wicked, and I was so excited I have heard so many people say this was great and wonderful. Well all I have to say is it was pretty. The end. Well I went over to Westcosts house and hung out before hand. Which was great, we watched Underworld and talked. Then we got ready to go and went to eat at Gordon Biersh and had a great dinner. I have never had the opportunity to really hang out with him and just talk. We had such and awesome conversation and it was good to be able to talk to someone and open up. And Westcoast has become one of those. I know some of my friends, think I talk or think too much but I have never had friends that I just opened up to and told everything too. I have always been protective of myself and was under the philosophy that “You can only count on yourself.”. I’m still adjusting to having friends I can talk to and just get advice from. And Thomas was the first and now Westcoast is the second person I can talk too. He gives really good advice and listens to me. I know I have written in here I want friend I want friends, but over the weekend I have realized what I wanted has been right in front of me all the time. I’m very glad. So we have dinner, scope out the waiter and such and I talk to him about me and Thomas and other things I have going on and I got some really great advice. This was a “date” LOL, because he called me and said “You want to go on a date?” LOL I was like what? That was out of character, but after dinner when we were walking back to the Fox, he said “We have to do this again” and I was like I was thinking the same thing. So we’ll hang out and things will be good, he’s going to be a very good friend.
So we get to the Fox, I knew it was going to be weird, and it really wasn’t, Thomas and his date, his parents, Michael and his friend and Joshua and his friend. But it was good. I did have one moment that I realized that I though it was based on me and Thomas but it goes all the way back to my long term ex, I was like OMG, I gotta let that go. Which I did, So we see Wicked and then we go to Mary’s and this is the first time I have seen Thomas interested in someone else. I did well, but I was in my tired grumpy mood. This is when I had my Oprah moment. All my other relationships have ended because someone did something that caused it to end. Whether it be cheating, lying or such. This one didn’t, neither of us did anything wrong to end it, it just wasn’t working for reasons we couldn’t fix. I kept beating myself up saying if I had done things different, things would have worked out and I see that, no matter what I would have done, it wouldn’t have been any different. I saw Thomas with his date and the conversations he was having and I could tell there was a spark, I realized at this moment, that right know I cannot offer Thomas what he needs, there was no way I could deliver it, and that he can’t offer what I need right now. The friendship is awesome and I couldn’t ask for more, and after this revelation, I realized that him and his date made a great couple and this is what he needs. Thomas was happy, and enjoying himself. In the car on the way back to Westcoasts I told him, you know they make a good couple. I guess part of what it boils down too is Thomas is intellectual, not in a bad way, and never a snob about it. And he would get into conversations with people about stuff and I would sit there and feel stupid, because it goes back to being that 7 year old with a learning disability who was told he was stupid. I never had my learning disability diagnosed until well into high school. My childhood was not the greatest, and I have let a lot of the stuff go, because its not worth holding on to because if you hold on to the past you can’t go into the future. The learning disability I’m still dealing with, but when you heard a teach say you’re stupid, it stays with you especially if you’re 7 years old. I remember that day well, I heard her talking to another teacher and I came home and cried and never told anyone till many years later. Maybe I should have at the time but when you’re 7, you don’t know what to do. And I’m not stupid, some things take longer for me to comprehend because of my dyslexia but I made all A’s and B’s except for 4 in college so that tells me I’m not stupid. But I’ll be fine, and with new friends I’ll get over it. So back to my story, the intellectual part was a problem to me and it was all my baggage, not his. Because with the new man, that works well for him they had some really good conversations, the parts I heard, and I was like this is the kind of person Thomas needs. I don’t know if I will ever be at the point to give him or anyone that kind
Well through out the night, I don’t think Thomas told him I was his ex, and I wasn’t going to say anything, and when we were leaving the date gave me a hug but I went fo the hand shake but I gave him a hug instead. One the way home he explained where he met everyone and it came out I was the ex. Today at the movie will be interesting, especially since I’m going to help him find a job. So, I left I told Thomas I had something to tell him. I got home and saw him online and told him, so I told him to call me, well I told him to call me and I told him I thought they made a great couple and I’m glad that someone is making him so happy, and I realized that right now we couldn’t give each other what we need, and it’s no ones fault. I said I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give him what he needs and he said that’s not true, well I should have said right now I can’t see me giving you what you need and it may change after I grow up and mature some more. You never know what the future holds, then I told him about the intellectual thing and I guess I probably shouldn’t have but I was tired and I never know when to shut my mouth. But one good thing about Thomas he was like, it shouldn’t have been an issue and he said now that I’m out of school, that I will get there and won’t feel like I do. Granted I didn’t tell the school thing but he’ll read it here I know.
I think mine and Thomas’ relationship have moved to where it needs to be. Friends, and I’m glad to see him happy with someone, heck if can sit right there and him me give him a quick kiss, and I’m cool with it, I’ve rounded a corner. I know he’ll read this, and find out a few things he didn’t know. But I got a great compliment from someone I knew two years ago, he said you sound like you are a different person with more confidence, which is true. I’m changing and things will go much better and I’ll find me some good guys to go out with over the next few weeks and I want to date. I just want to go out on dates and just meet people, so if you’re sane, normal and funny in ATL or coming to ATL shoot me an email and let’s chat!
Have a great Memorial Day!
So we get to the Fox, I knew it was going to be weird, and it really wasn’t, Thomas and his date, his parents, Michael and his friend and Joshua and his friend. But it was good. I did have one moment that I realized that I though it was based on me and Thomas but it goes all the way back to my long term ex, I was like OMG, I gotta let that go. Which I did, So we see Wicked and then we go to Mary’s and this is the first time I have seen Thomas interested in someone else. I did well, but I was in my tired grumpy mood. This is when I had my Oprah moment. All my other relationships have ended because someone did something that caused it to end. Whether it be cheating, lying or such. This one didn’t, neither of us did anything wrong to end it, it just wasn’t working for reasons we couldn’t fix. I kept beating myself up saying if I had done things different, things would have worked out and I see that, no matter what I would have done, it wouldn’t have been any different. I saw Thomas with his date and the conversations he was having and I could tell there was a spark, I realized at this moment, that right know I cannot offer Thomas what he needs, there was no way I could deliver it, and that he can’t offer what I need right now. The friendship is awesome and I couldn’t ask for more, and after this revelation, I realized that him and his date made a great couple and this is what he needs. Thomas was happy, and enjoying himself. In the car on the way back to Westcoasts I told him, you know they make a good couple. I guess part of what it boils down too is Thomas is intellectual, not in a bad way, and never a snob about it. And he would get into conversations with people about stuff and I would sit there and feel stupid, because it goes back to being that 7 year old with a learning disability who was told he was stupid. I never had my learning disability diagnosed until well into high school. My childhood was not the greatest, and I have let a lot of the stuff go, because its not worth holding on to because if you hold on to the past you can’t go into the future. The learning disability I’m still dealing with, but when you heard a teach say you’re stupid, it stays with you especially if you’re 7 years old. I remember that day well, I heard her talking to another teacher and I came home and cried and never told anyone till many years later. Maybe I should have at the time but when you’re 7, you don’t know what to do. And I’m not stupid, some things take longer for me to comprehend because of my dyslexia but I made all A’s and B’s except for 4 in college so that tells me I’m not stupid. But I’ll be fine, and with new friends I’ll get over it. So back to my story, the intellectual part was a problem to me and it was all my baggage, not his. Because with the new man, that works well for him they had some really good conversations, the parts I heard, and I was like this is the kind of person Thomas needs. I don’t know if I will ever be at the point to give him or anyone that kind
Well through out the night, I don’t think Thomas told him I was his ex, and I wasn’t going to say anything, and when we were leaving the date gave me a hug but I went fo the hand shake but I gave him a hug instead. One the way home he explained where he met everyone and it came out I was the ex. Today at the movie will be interesting, especially since I’m going to help him find a job. So, I left I told Thomas I had something to tell him. I got home and saw him online and told him, so I told him to call me, well I told him to call me and I told him I thought they made a great couple and I’m glad that someone is making him so happy, and I realized that right now we couldn’t give each other what we need, and it’s no ones fault. I said I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give him what he needs and he said that’s not true, well I should have said right now I can’t see me giving you what you need and it may change after I grow up and mature some more. You never know what the future holds, then I told him about the intellectual thing and I guess I probably shouldn’t have but I was tired and I never know when to shut my mouth. But one good thing about Thomas he was like, it shouldn’t have been an issue and he said now that I’m out of school, that I will get there and won’t feel like I do. Granted I didn’t tell the school thing but he’ll read it here I know.
I think mine and Thomas’ relationship have moved to where it needs to be. Friends, and I’m glad to see him happy with someone, heck if can sit right there and him me give him a quick kiss, and I’m cool with it, I’ve rounded a corner. I know he’ll read this, and find out a few things he didn’t know. But I got a great compliment from someone I knew two years ago, he said you sound like you are a different person with more confidence, which is true. I’m changing and things will go much better and I’ll find me some good guys to go out with over the next few weeks and I want to date. I just want to go out on dates and just meet people, so if you’re sane, normal and funny in ATL or coming to ATL shoot me an email and let’s chat!
Have a great Memorial Day!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #34
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Tales of Interest
OK I had a very interesting day yesterday. Well work was good, it was slow due to the holiday. So that was a very good thing. So I have a date, with a guy who from his pics are pretty sexy and hot. We chatted every morning before work and really had some good conversations. So it was suggested we meet at Burkharts and hang out for the night. I was like, cool I get to meet a nice guy and take it from there. So I get off work early since there wasn’t much going on. So I go into town and do some shopping, and buy this kick ass shirt to wear, and I thought I looked pretty damn good. So I hang out till about 6:45 PM. I told him to call me on the way there since his work is unpredictable. 7 came and went then 7:15, 7:30, and at this point I knew I was definitely stood up. So I waited till 7:40 and left and came home. You know I’m not upset I was stood up, that’s kinda dating live in Atlanta, but where has common courtesy gone with gay men? I mean is it so hard to call and say that no I can’t make it or no I’m not interested? I don’t thinks so, and speaking of common courtesy, there is a couple that I met that lived out here, and get your mind out of the gutter, well for now, more on that coming later, well they live near me and I met them for coffee and had a great time just chatting. So I invited them to my birthday and one came, the hot one. Well they got out of their car, and I noticed hey I know them, So I said hey how you guys been, they looked at me like I was crazy and why are you talking to me. And just said I’m good baby. I felt bad because one of them I always talked dirty too and one time his partner was on and I got him in trouble. I apologized to both and felt bad, But again common courtesy, don’t look at me like I’m crazy and stupid for talking, just say, you messed up and we feel it wouldn’t be a good time to be friends. I would accept that. But the kicker to it all is when they got out of the car they poured out one of those big cans of beer, I’m like NICE.
Ok, so I’m on the way home, so I am just needing some attention. I call all the boys I have met recently and everyone is either busy, out of town or have plans. I’m like damn. So I get home and sign in to Bear411 and Manhunt, you laugh at Manhunt but I have met some really good guys off it. And Thomas sends me a message, what are you doing home? I tell him and he says I should go to Mary’s for the swim suit competition. I was like, I don’t know, one of his new guys was going to meet him and I didn’t want to be a third wheel, but he said come out and have fun. So I’m like what the hell, So I get to Mary’s and I’m drinking just because I wanted too. So I had a few Bud Lites and am hanging out with Thomas and Then come in Todd dressed like Rip Taylor as a celebrity judge for the contest, too funny. And I talk to his partner Robby some and they are great guys, will try to do something with them. And I’m standing there talking and I look around the corner and there is someone I know who I’ll call Mark. Ok I’m taking you back to my old slut days, yeah I have them and boy was I Queen of the Slut People. I did a three way with him and his ex, many years ago, prob 8 or more. And we played one other time. Well he’s a nice guy but he does something’s that I personally wouldn’t do. Which I won’t go into but lets just say, he’s a few sexual interests that turn me off. Well he comes up and talks to me and I introduce him to Thomas and Ray, another guy there and he just turns his back on Thomas and Ray as if to push them out of the conversation. I was like how rude man, and he leaves and I go sit at the bar with Thomas and hang out more. Have a beer or two more and Thomas leaves, and I am still there, but oh in the mean time, Mark disappears, well I found out he was in the back making out with another guy who asked him to dinner. So when he come ups to me and starts rubbing my back and putting his arm around me I’m like, this feels good, and we have already established that I was feeling the need for some attention. So I’m like hell I’ll do some stuff here. Well the other guy comes up to us and asks if we’re together. Mark says no, we’re just good friends. The other guy goes back to his friends and I get up and go to the bathroom and when I come back he’s talking to Mark. Doesn’t’ even acknowledge me and kisses Mark deep and leaves without saying a word to me. So were there and I have my hand around him and we kiss some but nothing major, and his friend who’s bday it was came over and talked, and he was hot, the things I pictured doing with the boy. HMMM, so we’re hanging out and he wants me to go home with him and I’m thinking, no I don’t want to do that, I just want some attention. So we miss most of the swim suit contest. And after it’s over, I go upstairs and we make out some. And one of the bartenders who knows me was prob like ok boy you go LOL. I told him on the way out I would have a good story at Wicked tomorrow night. I was bad, should have just gone home but we’re both adults and I didn’t do anything other then make out.
I’m sure I’ll have more tales soon. I’m going to write more about my dates and life here. I decided I’m just gong for it, I’m not going to make fun of people or stuff like that, I’m just going to tell about dates and what I’m doing, and even when I’m bad! I hope you enjoyed my Tales of Interest.
Ok, so I’m on the way home, so I am just needing some attention. I call all the boys I have met recently and everyone is either busy, out of town or have plans. I’m like damn. So I get home and sign in to Bear411 and Manhunt, you laugh at Manhunt but I have met some really good guys off it. And Thomas sends me a message, what are you doing home? I tell him and he says I should go to Mary’s for the swim suit competition. I was like, I don’t know, one of his new guys was going to meet him and I didn’t want to be a third wheel, but he said come out and have fun. So I’m like what the hell, So I get to Mary’s and I’m drinking just because I wanted too. So I had a few Bud Lites and am hanging out with Thomas and Then come in Todd dressed like Rip Taylor as a celebrity judge for the contest, too funny. And I talk to his partner Robby some and they are great guys, will try to do something with them. And I’m standing there talking and I look around the corner and there is someone I know who I’ll call Mark. Ok I’m taking you back to my old slut days, yeah I have them and boy was I Queen of the Slut People. I did a three way with him and his ex, many years ago, prob 8 or more. And we played one other time. Well he’s a nice guy but he does something’s that I personally wouldn’t do. Which I won’t go into but lets just say, he’s a few sexual interests that turn me off. Well he comes up and talks to me and I introduce him to Thomas and Ray, another guy there and he just turns his back on Thomas and Ray as if to push them out of the conversation. I was like how rude man, and he leaves and I go sit at the bar with Thomas and hang out more. Have a beer or two more and Thomas leaves, and I am still there, but oh in the mean time, Mark disappears, well I found out he was in the back making out with another guy who asked him to dinner. So when he come ups to me and starts rubbing my back and putting his arm around me I’m like, this feels good, and we have already established that I was feeling the need for some attention. So I’m like hell I’ll do some stuff here. Well the other guy comes up to us and asks if we’re together. Mark says no, we’re just good friends. The other guy goes back to his friends and I get up and go to the bathroom and when I come back he’s talking to Mark. Doesn’t’ even acknowledge me and kisses Mark deep and leaves without saying a word to me. So were there and I have my hand around him and we kiss some but nothing major, and his friend who’s bday it was came over and talked, and he was hot, the things I pictured doing with the boy. HMMM, so we’re hanging out and he wants me to go home with him and I’m thinking, no I don’t want to do that, I just want some attention. So we miss most of the swim suit contest. And after it’s over, I go upstairs and we make out some. And one of the bartenders who knows me was prob like ok boy you go LOL. I told him on the way out I would have a good story at Wicked tomorrow night. I was bad, should have just gone home but we’re both adults and I didn’t do anything other then make out.
I’m sure I’ll have more tales soon. I’m going to write more about my dates and life here. I decided I’m just gong for it, I’m not going to make fun of people or stuff like that, I’m just going to tell about dates and what I’m doing, and even when I’m bad! I hope you enjoyed my Tales of Interest.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Sorry I had some of Whitney’s Crack Last night
Ok I had some good crack last night. That blog entry is way out there. But I’m giving it a second attempt, I thought about this in the car on the way home so here goes.
First off, Thomas and me, well I realized something in the last few days. First off, as some of you know that I always prepare for the worst, and it takes me a while to realize that that isn’t happening. That’s what I did with Thomas when we broke up, that he and I wouldn’t be friends, I would loose his friends and I’m back on my own. Which is furthest from the truth, yeah it’s a very irrational thing to do but it’s part of my process for dealing with things. Then I realize that things aren’t that bad.. I have wondered what was going on with me the last few weeks. I realize one thing; Thomas was the first person I have ever been me with. I was 100% honest and open, unlike anyone else I have met. Which for me to open up to and be me, and not the show I want people to see is rare. I can count on one hand how many folks I’ve done that for. I guess the problem with the break up is I’m beating myself up because, here I had this great guy who I could really talk to and basically is a best friend, and I couldn’t make it work. It has left me with doubts that if I can’t make this work, what can I make-work? Granted there are more issues then that here but when you have a good thing, you should work hard to keep it and I didn’t at the end. Even though I know it’s the right decision.
I have a feeling and I hope Thomas is willing to be one of my best friends. I really can talk and not worry about being judged and he will give me his honest opinion about things. Well this had to do with the over reacting and for a while I thought I was going to loose him, and it was hard for me to deal with. But I realized something Monday night with the Michael’s that I am a friend with them, we hung out without Thomas and I was not the Boyfriend. Which was a turning point.
All my life I have been the one person to make everyone happy and have gone out of my way to do it and I finally realized this sucks I’m the unhappiest person of all. I have gained more self-confidence and am making my life better, I had drinks with Thomas tonight and it was really good, It made me see a lot and I really liked it.
About my 4-year break. Well that taught me how to connect with people emotionally rather then physically, to bring the intimacy and sex back together. I really am glad I did it, granted part of it was my fear of HIV, but it really caused me to focus on other things and I’m not like I was before with sex, Love them and leave them. I really want a connection before I have sex now. I really would love some good friends with benefits and I’m working on that now. I want to go on dates and relax and get to know people.
I hope this clears up some things and makes more sense.
First off, Thomas and me, well I realized something in the last few days. First off, as some of you know that I always prepare for the worst, and it takes me a while to realize that that isn’t happening. That’s what I did with Thomas when we broke up, that he and I wouldn’t be friends, I would loose his friends and I’m back on my own. Which is furthest from the truth, yeah it’s a very irrational thing to do but it’s part of my process for dealing with things. Then I realize that things aren’t that bad.. I have wondered what was going on with me the last few weeks. I realize one thing; Thomas was the first person I have ever been me with. I was 100% honest and open, unlike anyone else I have met. Which for me to open up to and be me, and not the show I want people to see is rare. I can count on one hand how many folks I’ve done that for. I guess the problem with the break up is I’m beating myself up because, here I had this great guy who I could really talk to and basically is a best friend, and I couldn’t make it work. It has left me with doubts that if I can’t make this work, what can I make-work? Granted there are more issues then that here but when you have a good thing, you should work hard to keep it and I didn’t at the end. Even though I know it’s the right decision.
I have a feeling and I hope Thomas is willing to be one of my best friends. I really can talk and not worry about being judged and he will give me his honest opinion about things. Well this had to do with the over reacting and for a while I thought I was going to loose him, and it was hard for me to deal with. But I realized something Monday night with the Michael’s that I am a friend with them, we hung out without Thomas and I was not the Boyfriend. Which was a turning point.
All my life I have been the one person to make everyone happy and have gone out of my way to do it and I finally realized this sucks I’m the unhappiest person of all. I have gained more self-confidence and am making my life better, I had drinks with Thomas tonight and it was really good, It made me see a lot and I really liked it.
About my 4-year break. Well that taught me how to connect with people emotionally rather then physically, to bring the intimacy and sex back together. I really am glad I did it, granted part of it was my fear of HIV, but it really caused me to focus on other things and I’m not like I was before with sex, Love them and leave them. I really want a connection before I have sex now. I really would love some good friends with benefits and I’m working on that now. I want to go on dates and relax and get to know people.
I hope this clears up some things and makes more sense.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Caution Changes in Progress
Ok, I guess I need to explain a few things over the past few weeks that I have written and well since this is my cheap therapy here goes.
Am I still a little attached to Thomas? Yeah I am, but it’s not what you think, it’s not “OMG he’s coming back to me, we’re so in love” and all that. Well part of it is I’m growing up and actually am becoming a better guy to date. So dating in the past I know I was not a catch, so to speak. Well I met Thomas in November and things just took off. He is the best guy I’ve ever dated. I mean he’s outgoing, funny, and a good guy. Which made me fall for him, and I did, it was at a time when I was wondering if I was going to meet someone to date, I hadn’t fallen for anyone in awhile. And in all my past relationships I have been the one to find something wrong with the other person and say “Ok, that’s it It’s over.” And this time I was not going to do that. And I didn’t, I let things ride.
It was a great four months. But In February I knew that there were problems but you know it was very rare that I met a guy like Thomas and really wanted it to work. I’m not going to go into big details but we’re in different places in our lives and there is a lot more growing up I have to do, and I’m starting to do it and I know eventually I’ll find the right guy. But back to the reasons, I’m the kind of person I want it to work and I’m willing to work for it. So I’m having to realize that right now we can’t work out these issues, one of the funnier things I have said to friends and it’s true is, we both had the same taste in furniture, and how often does that happen? LOL. But he’s a great guy and I’m very glad I still have him in my life and in the next few days to week or so things will be good. I know this may sound vague but it all boils down too, we both realized that in order for us to remain friends we needed to give up the relationship, because if it went for a year or more, there would be no way to remain friends.
Now that I am single again, if you’ve been a long time reader you know about my 4 year break. I have to say, it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever done. It really got me grounded and focuses on what I want. In brief, the 4 years was me not topping a guy, some play but not a lot. Now, I have sorta realized that sex is something I should do to have fun and know the guy before I do it. But sex is something I should have fun with and enjoy. Which I didn’t’ before. It was more of a chore then fun. So now my main goal is to find friends, and I have a rule if I don’t like you I won’t f*** ya! I’m after friends with benefits till find the right guy. And also go on dates and just meet a bunch of people. But if the right guy comes a long then I’ll be ready!
My sinuses have been giving me fits lately I’m always stopped up or draining and it is driving me nuts. It makes me so tired. I have to go to the Dr now that I have insurance. So I hope this makes sense, I know parts may not but I’m posting it anyway, and will try to write more later, this made so much sense earlier in the day LOL Story of my life
Am I still a little attached to Thomas? Yeah I am, but it’s not what you think, it’s not “OMG he’s coming back to me, we’re so in love” and all that. Well part of it is I’m growing up and actually am becoming a better guy to date. So dating in the past I know I was not a catch, so to speak. Well I met Thomas in November and things just took off. He is the best guy I’ve ever dated. I mean he’s outgoing, funny, and a good guy. Which made me fall for him, and I did, it was at a time when I was wondering if I was going to meet someone to date, I hadn’t fallen for anyone in awhile. And in all my past relationships I have been the one to find something wrong with the other person and say “Ok, that’s it It’s over.” And this time I was not going to do that. And I didn’t, I let things ride.
It was a great four months. But In February I knew that there were problems but you know it was very rare that I met a guy like Thomas and really wanted it to work. I’m not going to go into big details but we’re in different places in our lives and there is a lot more growing up I have to do, and I’m starting to do it and I know eventually I’ll find the right guy. But back to the reasons, I’m the kind of person I want it to work and I’m willing to work for it. So I’m having to realize that right now we can’t work out these issues, one of the funnier things I have said to friends and it’s true is, we both had the same taste in furniture, and how often does that happen? LOL. But he’s a great guy and I’m very glad I still have him in my life and in the next few days to week or so things will be good. I know this may sound vague but it all boils down too, we both realized that in order for us to remain friends we needed to give up the relationship, because if it went for a year or more, there would be no way to remain friends.
Now that I am single again, if you’ve been a long time reader you know about my 4 year break. I have to say, it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever done. It really got me grounded and focuses on what I want. In brief, the 4 years was me not topping a guy, some play but not a lot. Now, I have sorta realized that sex is something I should do to have fun and know the guy before I do it. But sex is something I should have fun with and enjoy. Which I didn’t’ before. It was more of a chore then fun. So now my main goal is to find friends, and I have a rule if I don’t like you I won’t f*** ya! I’m after friends with benefits till find the right guy. And also go on dates and just meet a bunch of people. But if the right guy comes a long then I’ll be ready!
My sinuses have been giving me fits lately I’m always stopped up or draining and it is driving me nuts. It makes me so tired. I have to go to the Dr now that I have insurance. So I hope this makes sense, I know parts may not but I’m posting it anyway, and will try to write more later, this made so much sense earlier in the day LOL Story of my life
The Turning Point
Ok, I posted a while back that how Thomas changed my life and it’s true. But he told me the other day that he may have started my journey but it was me who is continuing me. Or I think he did LOL, I was at work so trying to remember. And on a side not I had a few friends I told about the break up say, well you guys should have prob just stayed friends. I’m like well theres no way to tell that we would have been the friends we are now and if he would have changed my life. I loved the 4 months we were together and I wouldn’t take them back at all. I just want him to be happy. But enough of that, yeah I still have a few things to get over with Thomas, nothing major, nothing like we’re getting back together or anything but, just moving on with my life and having me get in my own routine. If that makes sense. It takes me longer to adjust to things like this. But I’ll be fine, Last week is the case in point.
Well the week started off with a Bang, I had plans every night that week. Monday was drinks with Thomas and the Michaels. Which is always fun, I really like his friends a lot and I consider them my friends now as well. Tues nite was a really great night.. I went to an AMA networking event for the Young Professionals. And I really networked, and it was like I was another person. Just working the room. Then a friend of Mike and Todd’s came up to me that I haven’t seen in a while and we talked. Was great to see her. Then after that I had a mishap. LOL I was supposed to meet one guy out and called another guy to meet me. I was like Oh no what if they both come. But I met Billy, and OMG he’s so freaking hot. He sent me dirty text messages all day today, GRRRR. He’s a big beefy muscle bear type. OMG HOT! And the kicker is he’s so nice. But I’ll tell you more about Billy later. We have drinks and talk and it’s like he’s an older brother giving me advice about live, which was very cool with me.
Wednesday I see Joe C, someone I haven’t seen since my Bday! Was very glad we saw Poseidon, Which I was like ok this is going to suck, but if you read my blog already you know I loved it. We vowed to do something every two weeks, and that’s next week so we’ll see!
Thursday was movie, Thank you for Smoking, which was great, with a guy I met off AOL and we had a good time, I hope we’ll get to more movies together. But getting there was a nightmare, there was a wreck and the roads were a parking lot.
Friday I came home and Crashed!
Saturday, well this day was kinda f*cked up. I was supposed ot spend it with Joe and his roomie Rich but here goes. I got up and took Mike to the airport so he could go do a family thing with Todd’s family. Then came home and killed time and then went to softball practice. Then I thought I was going to Joes but nope he was at a carwash for his team and came home and showered and rested for a while. Then drove back down to Joes, well he was at a team pool party and still had to go meet some guy for drinks. So I’m like ok, he called the guy and met him at Woofs. Well I’m gald we drove two cars. Because I was hanging out, the guy came in and talked to Joe and I ran into someone I was in class with, who I did think was good looking and it was one of those moments where “You’re gay!” and “You are too!” so I hang out with him and his friends for a bit and I turn around to look for joe and he’s gone. The bitch left me, and I was like fine. This was around 9:30 and they asked what are you doing later? I’m like nothing now, and they asked me to go to the Eagle with them, and I’m like sure. His friends were crazy and I loved it, well they are the good crazy.
So head down to the Eagle and I have basically a gay family reunion. I ran into people I haven’t seen in years and guys I’ve talked too online and was in the process of meeting. It was a great night. I had so much fun and I basically went out by myself.
I know I’m leaving a lot out but I want to get this posted before I forget it, I’ll add more this week to this. But I get up Sunday and go to softball where I did very well. I caught an out, and got on first base. It’s a good day when I get on base! And then I scored a run. At practice I’m learning a lot more and am improving. I really like my team and glad I’m on it. After the games, we one the first and lost the second. But we headed to a team mates house and had a pool party which was fun and the water was COLD. But we hung out and talked. After half the people left we played air hockey and pool and then headed home to crash.
This week started good and I’m having a good week. I hope this made sense I’m kinda tired but I know I need to write. I’m going to devote one night a week to right and do podcasts, because I used to type 3-4 entries at a time and then post them. So I’m going to go back to that.
Be good!
Well the week started off with a Bang, I had plans every night that week. Monday was drinks with Thomas and the Michaels. Which is always fun, I really like his friends a lot and I consider them my friends now as well. Tues nite was a really great night.. I went to an AMA networking event for the Young Professionals. And I really networked, and it was like I was another person. Just working the room. Then a friend of Mike and Todd’s came up to me that I haven’t seen in a while and we talked. Was great to see her. Then after that I had a mishap. LOL I was supposed to meet one guy out and called another guy to meet me. I was like Oh no what if they both come. But I met Billy, and OMG he’s so freaking hot. He sent me dirty text messages all day today, GRRRR. He’s a big beefy muscle bear type. OMG HOT! And the kicker is he’s so nice. But I’ll tell you more about Billy later. We have drinks and talk and it’s like he’s an older brother giving me advice about live, which was very cool with me.
Wednesday I see Joe C, someone I haven’t seen since my Bday! Was very glad we saw Poseidon, Which I was like ok this is going to suck, but if you read my blog already you know I loved it. We vowed to do something every two weeks, and that’s next week so we’ll see!
Thursday was movie, Thank you for Smoking, which was great, with a guy I met off AOL and we had a good time, I hope we’ll get to more movies together. But getting there was a nightmare, there was a wreck and the roads were a parking lot.
Friday I came home and Crashed!
Saturday, well this day was kinda f*cked up. I was supposed ot spend it with Joe and his roomie Rich but here goes. I got up and took Mike to the airport so he could go do a family thing with Todd’s family. Then came home and killed time and then went to softball practice. Then I thought I was going to Joes but nope he was at a carwash for his team and came home and showered and rested for a while. Then drove back down to Joes, well he was at a team pool party and still had to go meet some guy for drinks. So I’m like ok, he called the guy and met him at Woofs. Well I’m gald we drove two cars. Because I was hanging out, the guy came in and talked to Joe and I ran into someone I was in class with, who I did think was good looking and it was one of those moments where “You’re gay!” and “You are too!” so I hang out with him and his friends for a bit and I turn around to look for joe and he’s gone. The bitch left me, and I was like fine. This was around 9:30 and they asked what are you doing later? I’m like nothing now, and they asked me to go to the Eagle with them, and I’m like sure. His friends were crazy and I loved it, well they are the good crazy.
So head down to the Eagle and I have basically a gay family reunion. I ran into people I haven’t seen in years and guys I’ve talked too online and was in the process of meeting. It was a great night. I had so much fun and I basically went out by myself.
I know I’m leaving a lot out but I want to get this posted before I forget it, I’ll add more this week to this. But I get up Sunday and go to softball where I did very well. I caught an out, and got on first base. It’s a good day when I get on base! And then I scored a run. At practice I’m learning a lot more and am improving. I really like my team and glad I’m on it. After the games, we one the first and lost the second. But we headed to a team mates house and had a pool party which was fun and the water was COLD. But we hung out and talked. After half the people left we played air hockey and pool and then headed home to crash.
This week started good and I’m having a good week. I hope this made sense I’m kinda tired but I know I need to write. I’m going to devote one night a week to right and do podcasts, because I used to type 3-4 entries at a time and then post them. So I’m going to go back to that.
Be good!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Graduation… Doing It With No Hands!
me and my dopey smile, i hate it!Ok, I know this is a late post but I’m still trying to balance work and the hour and thirty minute commute I have to do each way. It will be fine eventually. The job is so demanding and I’m drained at the end of the day but as I get better at it, things will improve. But here goes….
Picture it, Atlanta May 13th, 10 AM, lol well the day started early, I was up at 6 AM and in the shower. I got dressed and we were off. I had to be there at 8:15 AM, so as usually I was running around the house looking for all the stuff I should have laid out the night before. I got the digital cam and remember, I forgot to buy batteries. I was like DOH! Of all days not to have batteries. So we drove in I-75 because they were doing construction on I-20 and I was taking no chances. But on the way I stopped at Publix and got batteries an we stopped at Chik-fil-a and got breakfast. We got down to GSU around 8 AM and I took my folks on a tour of the campus and took them over to where they needed to go to be at the Sports Arena aka Gym.
So I head over and find that they had graduate degrees on one side and bachelors on the other. You wondered around till you found your name on a card on the seat. So I sit down and slowly find folks I know who are graduating. Rashad, someone I’ve had a few classes with was sitting two people down and kept singing “Do it with no hands” and our row that was the running joke all morning. So we sit there for over an hour before we leave. But its good to see all the other people I had class with and are graduating with me.
Banners of the Colleges of GSUSo finally its time to head over to the ceremony. We go in reverse order for some reason, not sure why. But we head over and we’re standing out site the Sports Arena, to go in and I make the comment “Glad we’re not graduating later today it’s supposed to rain” Well someone should have bitch slapped me right there. But we were all so excited to be graduating. So many of us it took forever to get through. And it was kinda surreal. It’s slowly sinking in I’m a college graduate. WHOOO HOOOO!
So we go in and I find my parents. And the ceremony wasn’t as long as I thought it would be. Also there weren’t as many people as I thought would be graduating or there watching. But I guess when you have three ceremonies in a day, it won’t be. It wasn’t as stuffy as I though it would be, it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. But when we were sitting there getting ready they said we had to sing the Alma Mata of the school, we were like, Do we have one? LOL It was in the program, thank god. But the cards we carried had our names. So we lined up and went across the stage and got out names called and our fake diploma handed to us. The real one comes 4 to 6 weeks from graduation.
We got our pics taken when we were handed our diploma and I have to find out about that, I’ll look that up after this. Then we leave and the bottom falls out of the sky. The rain is blowing and its raining like hell. Yeah only at my graduation would it rain when we go in there wasn’t a cloud in the sky!
Yeah is the Monsoon at my GraduationSo we leave and get home and I have a party for some of my friends. I had hoped I would have had more people there but hey I’m in the process of making them. I was a little down that day but now looking back I should have shut up and had fun. But you live you learn. But all my good friends were there. So it was great time.
Then Mike , Todd and myself went to Swinging Richards, the gay strip club and they were and hour late, so I had already gone to the VIP area and had a private dance, yeah I’m trashy LOL, and I literally ran into Leslie Jordan. Go figure! But was a great night.
This is a brief overview of the day! I hope I didn’t leave anything out. If so I’ll write it in another entry.
I’m a college grad! WHOO HOOO!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
A few things
OK, I know I've promised a graduation posting, that was supposed to have been posted last weekend. Well I have actually cropped the pics and know basically what I'm going to talk about. But hopefully tomorrow. As you know from the post yesterday, I have moved HGOTW to Sunday's now. Fridays is just too hard with the new job to get it all together and posted. I work last both Thrus and Fri and am too tired to do it. I hopefully will get it posted Saturday but Sunday by the latest. Also on the podcast update, I promised to do one this week but I had a busy week as well. Everyone I know that I haven't spent time with over the last few months, I did something last week and this weekend. I have a great story about the weekend, and will post it over the week. I had and AWESOME weekend. But I'll get to that. But this post is a quick post on an update and somethings that have happened/will happen soon!
Apple opened a new kick ass store on 5th Ave in NYC. The pic above is taken from their web site and shows the entrance. The glass box is the entrance and the store is below it and opened 24/7 365 a year! I know I have friends who call the Banana Republic store the mothership for them, this is my mothership in NYC, the next time I go, I'm def checking it out! They said there were like 3 hour waits this week to get in the store. It's so cool! You have to admit Apple has style!
YES SHES BACK! I can't wait, Kathy Griffin is back for another season of My Life on the D list. I think she's awesome and can't wait. June 6th it starts and I hope they put the show out on DVD after this season. She cracks me up. Her special "Angry Black Woman" was a riot. She will be in Atlanta in October and I"m so going! Can't miss her show! I've seen Margaret Cho, Judy T., and others. I can't wait for Judy. I also read today that Joan Rivers does new stand up at a club in NYC as well, hmm now that would be something to see.
Ok, this is still a weird concept to me, A wedgie contest for an underwear company. You can go check out the videos on their web site. Being on a Mac I couldn't see them. But this is the first of many they will have and the dude in the blue briefs won the first round. Go check them out and see more. I think they have some really hot undoes and I don't know anyone who has bought any, well personally that is. A few bloggers have written about getting pairs. But I'll keep you posted on them soon!
OK have a great day, I'll post in the next day or so, my graduation entry, My week/weekend and I'm working on a few others, which right now I forgot, I have to start writing this stuff down. I may have a big announcement this week as well. Not sure yet, but it will premier on here.
OH last thing I have redone my web site, I used to have SpeedoATL9's Home page, that I hadn't' updated in like 3 years or more, I took it down, and I just have the main page up, and will totally redo it and have it back up in a week or so. I think the link is under the profile here on blogger. So check it out and let me know what you think. I have been told by people I need to redo my logo, I may open up a contest to help me design a logo for some undoes or something. If you're interested contact me and I'll get a prize up for the interested individuals.
Be good!
Apple opened a new kick ass store on 5th Ave in NYC. The pic above is taken from their web site and shows the entrance. The glass box is the entrance and the store is below it and opened 24/7 365 a year! I know I have friends who call the Banana Republic store the mothership for them, this is my mothership in NYC, the next time I go, I'm def checking it out! They said there were like 3 hour waits this week to get in the store. It's so cool! You have to admit Apple has style!
YES SHES BACK! I can't wait, Kathy Griffin is back for another season of My Life on the D list. I think she's awesome and can't wait. June 6th it starts and I hope they put the show out on DVD after this season. She cracks me up. Her special "Angry Black Woman" was a riot. She will be in Atlanta in October and I"m so going! Can't miss her show! I've seen Margaret Cho, Judy T., and others. I can't wait for Judy. I also read today that Joan Rivers does new stand up at a club in NYC as well, hmm now that would be something to see.
Ok, this is still a weird concept to me, A wedgie contest for an underwear company. You can go check out the videos on their web site. Being on a Mac I couldn't see them. But this is the first of many they will have and the dude in the blue briefs won the first round. Go check them out and see more. I think they have some really hot undoes and I don't know anyone who has bought any, well personally that is. A few bloggers have written about getting pairs. But I'll keep you posted on them soon!
OK have a great day, I'll post in the next day or so, my graduation entry, My week/weekend and I'm working on a few others, which right now I forgot, I have to start writing this stuff down. I may have a big announcement this week as well. Not sure yet, but it will premier on here.
OH last thing I have redone my web site, I used to have SpeedoATL9's Home page, that I hadn't' updated in like 3 years or more, I took it down, and I just have the main page up, and will totally redo it and have it back up in a week or so. I think the link is under the profile here on blogger. So check it out and let me know what you think. I have been told by people I need to redo my logo, I may open up a contest to help me design a logo for some undoes or something. If you're interested contact me and I'll get a prize up for the interested individuals.
Be good!
Hot Guy of the Week #33
ATTENTION:
The hot guy of the week feature will move to Sunday from this point forward. With my new job it's just too hard for me to get it done for friday. Those are the two busiest days of work. I'll try to post it on Saturday but Sunday will be much better for me!These guys have no real theme, I tired to make it more beefy hot older guys but no luck finding pics this week. Maybe next time! Hope you enjoy
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Manny! Manny! Oh hell that’s the wrong damn boat
Ok, if you got my reference, you know what movie I saw tonight. Yup I saw Poseidon. I loved the original. I mean it’s a cinema classic. It was the first disaster movie, and started the whole genre. It also started the big cast pictures too. It was the first time to have so many stars in it.
So we flash forward 34 years to the current day Poseidon. This was not as all star cast but still had some big names in it. Kurt Russell, Richard Dryfus and Ferggie from the Black Eyed Peas. She sang at midnight. Now going it I full expected it to suck. Well the story was good, the one thing they did that really set them apart was they didn’t have any of the characters from the original. Unlike the TV movie, which was really bad, but if you’ve read my blog for a while you know what I had to say about it.
The story was good and the special effects were awesome. The “rogue wave” crash was incredible. I was like WHOLY SH*T! That was good. The plot even changed, if you haven’t seen it PLOT SPOILER HERE. They had to get out through the propeller shafts and out the boat. Unlike the original where they had to get cut out the ship. The acting was good but the start of the show was the special effects. I was really impressed at what they did. But I can’t believe they killed Ferggie. At least in the first movie the singer got to escape with the rest of the cast. But oh well.
I highly recommend you going to see it and I liked it and I’m a big fan on the original so if I can like it, you can at least give it a chance.
I’m tired and I don’t know if this is making sense. So I’m going to get to bed. I have a lot to catch up on and will do that over the weekend. I still have to write about my graduation, and my juggling act and much much more!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #32
Hey guys, See I'm sooner then I thought. Tomorrow I'll do my graduation post! Yeah I'm DONE, but i got a request to do some hot beefy guys. This is the best I could do next week I'll continue the series and have some hot beefy muscle bears I hope! Enjoy for now!
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Hard Lessons are the Ones You Remember Most
Ok, I know I know, I’ve been absent for a little while, ok Three weeks, but I’ve been very busy. I started my new job and finished my last semester in college and life has been crazy. But as of last Thursday I’m done with college. I graduate this Saturday. So I’m very excited about it.
But also at the same time there is some stuff going on that you know kind of sucks but at the same time I know it’s only temporary I came up this title because as one person line put it my life is coming together but at the same time feels like it’s falling apart. Which I know is not the case but I’m in massive change. That’s the main problem, I hate change and it drives me nuts but I know it’s necessary and a good thing. But for a few weeks I’m just out of it. .
I’m single again and that’s not a bad thing. I’m taking it slow about dating and would really just love to go on a few dates now that I have the time. The problem is finding someone to ask out or get asked out. I’ve never been good at doing the asking but the older I get the more bold, for a lack of better word, I get. I guess I just want to meet guys and go out and just enjoy some company. I’m not one to date around a lot, I like to focus on one guy and go from there, but I guess over the next few months I want to go out with guys and see where it goes, and not take it serious and start off as friends. This worked with Thomas, and it was the first time I ever went out with someone that I was friends first. And as you can tell it was good since we’re still good friends. I’ve never really just dated I’ve either been single or been serious, there has been no in between. I need to find a few guys to go out with that isn’t serious and just see what happens.
The other thing right now is I’m over tricking and meaningless sex. Yeah, a gay man can say that LOL, maybe I’ll get my card revoked for that but, It’s just something that doesn’t appeal to me any more. Yeah I’m on manhunt, yeah I admit it, but I’ve met some great guys on there believe it or not. But I like to get to know a guy and be friends before I get naked, I’d really love to have a friend with benefits, I guess that would tie into the dating but nothing serious right now. I’m starting my career, moving out and getting my life started, and right now I know is not a good time to start dating serious. But I’m no saint either. But I’d like something regular and comfortable.
Another area that has been stressing me out is credit card debt. I did my budget and realized I have too much debt to move out. Which really bummed me out. I was depressed for a few days but this brings me back to the title of this entry. I think hard lessons are ones you remember and you don’t make again, and credit cards is mine. I have used them to live off of for the last few months and it was a stupid thing to do, looking back there are so many things I could have done different but, right now it’s too late to change it. But one thing I realized is, everything is changeable. So this may sound like an entry where I’m beating myself up but I’m not. I just have realized things I should have realized long ago. But you know I guess it’s good I learned these lessons now, rather then never learning them. I am going to get a debt consolidation loan and pay them and keep them all paid off and paid down. I realized what I got myself into and know that I can’t use credit cards to supplement lifestyle. Which I did for so long. I have a game plan to pay them down and keep them paid and get my sh*t together and have my ducks in a row, so in a few years when I want to buy a house, I can.
The area causing me the most stress is friends. I really have to get out there and make more friends, I get frustrated that I can’t call someone up and say “hey let’s go to a movie.” Again, this is another area where it takes time and I can’t expect it now and I’m going to focus on my career and I’ll make friends as well. I just want to move in to the city and get a life, being out in the burbs is hard to get in town after I’ve been home. I’d like to come home and have a friend call me, meet me out for drinks or something and go and be there in 15 minutes or less.
But I know this will all happen this year. Just gets frustrating to me. I want changes now but it will take time, I just needed to vent tonight. Don’t worry I’m ok, just tired and frustrated. Things are going to be great I know this year. Just have to get over the speed bumps.
But also at the same time there is some stuff going on that you know kind of sucks but at the same time I know it’s only temporary I came up this title because as one person line put it my life is coming together but at the same time feels like it’s falling apart. Which I know is not the case but I’m in massive change. That’s the main problem, I hate change and it drives me nuts but I know it’s necessary and a good thing. But for a few weeks I’m just out of it. .
I’m single again and that’s not a bad thing. I’m taking it slow about dating and would really just love to go on a few dates now that I have the time. The problem is finding someone to ask out or get asked out. I’ve never been good at doing the asking but the older I get the more bold, for a lack of better word, I get. I guess I just want to meet guys and go out and just enjoy some company. I’m not one to date around a lot, I like to focus on one guy and go from there, but I guess over the next few months I want to go out with guys and see where it goes, and not take it serious and start off as friends. This worked with Thomas, and it was the first time I ever went out with someone that I was friends first. And as you can tell it was good since we’re still good friends. I’ve never really just dated I’ve either been single or been serious, there has been no in between. I need to find a few guys to go out with that isn’t serious and just see what happens.
The other thing right now is I’m over tricking and meaningless sex. Yeah, a gay man can say that LOL, maybe I’ll get my card revoked for that but, It’s just something that doesn’t appeal to me any more. Yeah I’m on manhunt, yeah I admit it, but I’ve met some great guys on there believe it or not. But I like to get to know a guy and be friends before I get naked, I’d really love to have a friend with benefits, I guess that would tie into the dating but nothing serious right now. I’m starting my career, moving out and getting my life started, and right now I know is not a good time to start dating serious. But I’m no saint either. But I’d like something regular and comfortable.
Another area that has been stressing me out is credit card debt. I did my budget and realized I have too much debt to move out. Which really bummed me out. I was depressed for a few days but this brings me back to the title of this entry. I think hard lessons are ones you remember and you don’t make again, and credit cards is mine. I have used them to live off of for the last few months and it was a stupid thing to do, looking back there are so many things I could have done different but, right now it’s too late to change it. But one thing I realized is, everything is changeable. So this may sound like an entry where I’m beating myself up but I’m not. I just have realized things I should have realized long ago. But you know I guess it’s good I learned these lessons now, rather then never learning them. I am going to get a debt consolidation loan and pay them and keep them all paid off and paid down. I realized what I got myself into and know that I can’t use credit cards to supplement lifestyle. Which I did for so long. I have a game plan to pay them down and keep them paid and get my sh*t together and have my ducks in a row, so in a few years when I want to buy a house, I can.
The area causing me the most stress is friends. I really have to get out there and make more friends, I get frustrated that I can’t call someone up and say “hey let’s go to a movie.” Again, this is another area where it takes time and I can’t expect it now and I’m going to focus on my career and I’ll make friends as well. I just want to move in to the city and get a life, being out in the burbs is hard to get in town after I’ve been home. I’d like to come home and have a friend call me, meet me out for drinks or something and go and be there in 15 minutes or less.
But I know this will all happen this year. Just gets frustrating to me. I want changes now but it will take time, I just needed to vent tonight. Don’t worry I’m ok, just tired and frustrated. Things are going to be great I know this year. Just have to get over the speed bumps.
Podcast #7
Yes it's another podcast a month late!
Click Here to download
This podcast explains where I've been and yes I"m already working on the next one!
Enjoy Guys!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Hot Guy of the Week #31
More blog entries to come soon I PROMISE
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
DISCLAIMER: I make no claims as to the sexual orietnation of guys in the Hot Guys of the Week, they are pics of guys i think that are hot that i get off the net.
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