Caution Changes in Progress

Ok, I guess I need to explain a few things over the past few weeks that I have written and well since this is my cheap therapy here goes.

Am I still a little attached to Thomas? Yeah I am, but it’s not what you think, it’s not “OMG he’s coming back to me, we’re so in love” and all that. Well part of it is I’m growing up and actually am becoming a better guy to date. So dating in the past I know I was not a catch, so to speak. Well I met Thomas in November and things just took off. He is the best guy I’ve ever dated. I mean he’s outgoing, funny, and a good guy. Which made me fall for him, and I did, it was at a time when I was wondering if I was going to meet someone to date, I hadn’t fallen for anyone in awhile. And in all my past relationships I have been the one to find something wrong with the other person and say “Ok, that’s it It’s over.” And this time I was not going to do that. And I didn’t, I let things ride.

It was a great four months. But In February I knew that there were problems but you know it was very rare that I met a guy like Thomas and really wanted it to work. I’m not going to go into big details but we’re in different places in our lives and there is a lot more growing up I have to do, and I’m starting to do it and I know eventually I’ll find the right guy. But back to the reasons, I’m the kind of person I want it to work and I’m willing to work for it. So I’m having to realize that right now we can’t work out these issues, one of the funnier things I have said to friends and it’s true is, we both had the same taste in furniture, and how often does that happen? LOL. But he’s a great guy and I’m very glad I still have him in my life and in the next few days to week or so things will be good. I know this may sound vague but it all boils down too, we both realized that in order for us to remain friends we needed to give up the relationship, because if it went for a year or more, there would be no way to remain friends.

Now that I am single again, if you’ve been a long time reader you know about my 4 year break. I have to say, it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever done. It really got me grounded and focuses on what I want. In brief, the 4 years was me not topping a guy, some play but not a lot. Now, I have sorta realized that sex is something I should do to have fun and know the guy before I do it. But sex is something I should have fun with and enjoy. Which I didn’t’ before. It was more of a chore then fun. So now my main goal is to find friends, and I have a rule if I don’t like you I won’t f*** ya! I’m after friends with benefits till find the right guy. And also go on dates and just meet a bunch of people. But if the right guy comes a long then I’ll be ready!

My sinuses have been giving me fits lately I’m always stopped up or draining and it is driving me nuts. It makes me so tired. I have to go to the Dr now that I have insurance. So I hope this makes sense, I know parts may not but I’m posting it anyway, and will try to write more later, this made so much sense earlier in the day LOL Story of my life